Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
