talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
