Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
