I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
