i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize