So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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