Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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