How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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