Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
