Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
