You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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