I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
