I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
