He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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