New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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