It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize