There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
