Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize