Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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