I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
only if we run a train.
done.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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