That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
