i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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