the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
