i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
"it" just moved
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
