so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
