OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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