her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
