so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
