when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
