We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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