I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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