True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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