well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Found your dick twin last night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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