She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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