Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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