dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
