if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
