You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
