Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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