I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
