Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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