that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
