He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
