the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Found your dick twin last night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize