How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
