2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
