I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
