Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
