Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
