i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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