i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
