he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize