I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize