I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
