my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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