did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
