After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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