I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
