it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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