my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
