Your tits are I can't wait for
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
