I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
