You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
