You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I take back everything I said about communal showers
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
