I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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