He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
