i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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