porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize