hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
